You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
