all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
