Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
