everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
