I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
