using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
