Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
