you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
