Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
