You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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