foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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