I'm really into asian looking animals
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
