Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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