it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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