her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
