So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I bet he comes in French.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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