Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
