Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
