New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
