I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
