Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
