i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
