all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
