Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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