Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
