it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
