We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
