I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
