I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
