I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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