well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
