Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
