Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
