i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
