you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
