when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
