Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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