I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
