I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
