just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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