Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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