we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What drink are we having for lunch?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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