Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
