how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
