you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
