I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
