Don't make out with my wife yet
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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