You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
