Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
that is very illegal...i love you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
