She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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